一個人出走の天空 ::

Again, I'm slacking off right now as what you guys can tell.

XD XD

[It's lunch hour, guys! Thus, it can't be considered as slacking off, it's just a great skill in fully utilizing time.]

There's nothing much to say, perhaps it's the same as the "Cantonese" version, just don't know why I've such an impulsive to write something nonsense out here. Let me count how long I've been here, umm, it's almost 7 months, right? I've been working for almost 1 year, it's my life here in KL after 3 years studying life in Unimas, Sarawak.

Perhaps you will ask, do you miss the time in Sarawak. I don't know. I will have different answers for different situation. But for now, I don't. I'm even regret to be in Sarawak for that 3 years. What I've got there? Nothing but a certificate indicated that I am a Bachelor degree graduated student. That's it. Is it important? No, at least for me.

Long time ago I thought that I have an ability where most of the people besides me don't have, which is I know what exactly I want. I understood myself so well. Nevertheless, I couldn't say so right now. I have no idea it's because of I wish to deny everything about me, or because of I really don't know who I am anymore.

What I can do is just following my instinct. However, I've never trusted my instinct albeit it is damn accurate. Why shouldn't I trust my own instinct? Don't ask, the answer is not with me.

I've found out a very ridiculous and funny thing happened on me. It seems like relevant to me but they shouldn't relate it to me. Should I keep on escaping and forgetting or facing it? How to face it? There's no such thing called schema in this real world. I believe that everyone has their own perspective and thoughts. No one's here has the right to judge or saying that what they think isn't right. Coz what you think perhaps is wrong too.

For me, happy is the most important thing. As long as what you want or think won't hurt anyone, why don't just follow the little voice in your mind? What is my little voice? Have I ignored it for a long time?

It's been a year, a year after my graduation, there's no good changes on me but all are just mess and gloom. Actually I wish to erase all the memory that I have. Haiz, I haven't recovered yet. Perhaps it's been just a lie for myself past few months. Haha, I feel like I'm now singing the same old tune.

I have no idea anymore on how to make things right. Everything seems so wrong to me. Is it really that out of track? I shouldn't believe at first, I won't be that at last.

Lots of doubts are haunting me by now. Doubts that I couldn't manage to explain and couldn't manage to solve. Perhaps I think too much. Every step is hard to take now, I'm afraid to get lost again. Being alone in the darkness is damn horrifying. I rather not to be success in anything but keep on being a ostrich to hide my head in the sand. I know it's coward, however I rather to take this step although I know I'll be regret.

Now I know, I can't keep any question in my heart. I can only choose to find out the answer, or just forget about it. What if there's no answer and I can't forget about it? It sucks! Keep on escaping from facing the matter is only good for short term for giving you some time to calm down. However, situation will become worse if you continue escaping from something you shouldn't escape from. I know. But I can't do so.

I really wanna shout! How could she do this kind of funny and ridiculous thing? and WHY? It seemed so stupid! Doesn't she know about that? Oh My God, you're older than me but doing this kind of childish thing, I really don't know what I should say. I really don't understand what is your purpose. Do you really have no confidence to yourself that's why you treat me as a threat? Should I be happy since you think that I can threathen you? RIDICULOUS!

I'm looking forward to this weekend. It still has 3 and a half days to go. Sounds long, doesn't it? XD XD

我又食蛇啦！

其實我都唔想架，但係近排有D野發生左，講関我事又好似唔関我事，講唔関我事又好似関我事，唉，總之就係卑影響到啦！

近排情緒好容易卑影響，都唔知道點解，總之就係麻煩啦！

唉，等待，果然會殺死人！開始無耐性啦，幾時先至卑我知道答案啊？應該仲有兩個禮拜吧？但係對我來講都係好耐啊！

無聊下無聊下甘又半日啦！都唔知自己想點，好想換左過個模板，睇到有D閑，但係自己又懶，點算？真係麻煩！點解我生出來唔係個勤力既人咧？哈哈哈哈，唔好意思，發緊夢！啦啦啦啦啦！

最近唔想寫埋D有深度既野，只係想發下牢騷，講下廢話~！嘻嘻，唔好丟我臭雞蛋啊！

近排做野好無動力，都唔知係唔係無錢既關係，覺得時間過得真係慢！幾時先到我出糧的日子啊？我只係淨番三蚊嘖啊！三蚊，點活？你同我講，點活？唉！

似乎近排D衰野一直來，岩岩先至收到唔好既消息，真係啊，衰野係唔係都係接住來架？想搞殘我咩？我都已經好慘了嚄，要訓練我都唔係甘樣下嗎？

呼，廢野講完！收工！（嗚嗚嗚...仲有5粒鈡，你話點算？）